How to Break Up Gracefully

Breakups are hard no matter the situation.  No matter how we feel we often want to say goodbye in a way that respects our feelings, respects our partner’s feelings, and allows things to end with closure, gracefully.  Here are a few things to keep in mind:

  • Find a way to put a positive spin on whatever you say.  Honesty is important, but so is consideration.
  • Be kind, be appreciative of the experiences you shared, and of what you learned.  No matter how bad things may feel at present, remember that there once was good and to honor that.
  • Be nice.  We want to be mean but what will that achieve? Nothing. Being graceful means letting go of anger and resentment and walking forward with your head held high.  Being mean and nasty will only lower you to his level (if indeed he even deserves your wrath, which he may not).
  • Appreciate things for what they are, for their uniqueness, for what they give you and for where they take you. Love that relationships can be for a season, a reason, and can have varied purposes in our lives.  With this knowledge we accept the flux of relationships, allow for flexibility, and cope with letting go when relationships reach their end.
  • Express your emotions, as long as it can be from a place of productivity and not a place of blame or negativity.  If you can help someone to better understand who they are in a relationship, they may have greater success in their next coupling.  Don’t forget that each partner is responsible for the relationship, and no one is perfect!
  • Be considerate and sensitive.  Even if you no longer like this person, they do deserve decency, so be considerate of what they may be feeling in this situation.  Have compassion for them, and think of how you would like to be treated if the shoe was on the other foot.
  • Do not break up with someone by phone, text, or email, unless that is your only option.  Break up with someone respectfully by doing it in person.  It can be difficult to cause someone hurt (or maybe not) but it takes a real woman/person to be honest and deal with the emotional effects of that honesty.

Remember that endings can also be beginnings, and that when you close one door another opens. Your future dating adventures are full of possibility.

Whatever you do, do with love and wonder as what you put out into the universe comes back to you!

As published here.


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